Oxford Dictionary describes negotiation as a discussion aimed at reaching an agreement. But you and I know that is a lot more complex than that.
Not all of us, especially nerdy engineers, enjoy negotiations. However, to be a successful tech leader, you need to master this art.
Whether it is prioritizing features for the next release or convincing a top engineer to join your team – good negotiation is vital.
In this issue, I will share two things:
- Negotiation tips from Chris Voss’ bestseller – Never Split the Difference
- Framework to plan your next Negotiation meeting
Negotiation tips from “Never Split the Difference”
former FBI negotiator. I can never do justice to the book in a few bullet points – I strongly recommend you get a copy and read it if you are interested in the topic.
But I will try to summarize the key takeaways here:
- A good negotiation starts with listening. Make it about the other person, validate their emotions, and establish trust in the conversation
- Use mirroring to encourage the other person to empathize and create a bond with you. A good technique is to repeat the last 3 critical (or important) words the other person just said, which helps in a stronger connection
- Watch your voice tone as it makes a difference too. Some example tones used by professional negotiators are late-night DJ, playful, professional, and assertive
- Labeling is a technique to validate the other person’s emotion by giving it a name and acknowledging it. It often starts with “It sounds like… It feels like… It seems like…” and describe their emotional state
- Don’t just focus on a “Yes”. Use “No” tactically to eliminate options that are not relevant or interesting to both parties
- Before getting to a “Yes”, you need to get the other party to say “That’s right”. You can do that by a good summary of their expectations and emotional state, and get an affirmation. This takes you one step closer to closing the deal
You can read a detailed summary of the book on Shortform (paywall).
Now that you have some tips, let’s look at a template to prepare for the next negotiation.
Negotiation prep template
Please note this is not a one-size-fits-all template for all negotiations. But it can be a good starting point for most.
#1 Figure out what you want
- What do you want to achieve in the negotiation? (your end goal, e.g., securing a job offer)
- What is it you want more of? (key differentiator, e.g., at least a 30% salary raise)
- What are the issues over which you will be negotiating? (e.g., salary, location, hybrid mode, stock options)
- What are the potential agreement options for each issue?
- What is the relative or weighted contribution of each option to your final decision?
- What is your reservation price and alternatives for your negotiation? (a reservation price is the least favorable point at which you can accept a negotiation)
- Which factors influence your stance the most and why?
#2 Figure out what your counterpart wants
- What problem of theirs will your proposal solve?
- What are your counterpart’s goals in the negotiation?
- What are their likely issues?
- What are their likely interests and why?
#3 Develop your negotiation strategy
- How will you gather the additional information you need?
- What information do you still need to assess?
- What are any potential holes in your strategy?
- What are your sources of power? (e.g., a skill that is very rare in the market)
- What strategies and tactics will you employ to achieve your goals, taking into account the preferences, goals, and strategies that your counterpart is likely to employ?
- Will you make the first offer? (It is important to decide as the negotiation will generally pivot around this)
I hope you have some solid tips and a template to rock your next negotiation. Often, this skill helps at better decision-making as well.
If you have any additional tips, feel free to share it as comments!